I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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