I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
