If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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