Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
