it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
