I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
