Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
