who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
