Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
