idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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