Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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