how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
