Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
