Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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