TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
