how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pooping to opera.
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