My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
