She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
