I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
