Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
