***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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