How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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