took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
