Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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