I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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