I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
