Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
