this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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