So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
