I feel great
I just peed on a car
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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