I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
