He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize