The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
