sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
