i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
