just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
