Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I believe in your delicious
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
