I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sarcasm needs its own font
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
