Non-Jews are for practice
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
