We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
