Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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