you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
