My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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