I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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