RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
