pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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