Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
