me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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