Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
