why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
